While browsing a thrift store some time last year, I came across a blue Nintendo 64 cartridge. Upon inspecting it, I learned it was a copy of WCW Backstage Assault, I could have it for less than five dollars. I have never really enjoyed any of the N64 wrestling games, even the ones that everyone says are great, but I happen to know that this isn’t one of those. I’m also something of a late bloomer when it comes to being a wrestling fan, so this game is based on an era of wrestling that I don’t have any nostalgia for. But, it would be funny to own the bad wrestling game and it was cheap, so it came home with me. It has sat on my shelf ever since.

That is until today, when I consulted the random number generator to decide what game I would play for this weekly feature. But I’ll admit it, despite the fact that this was basically just a thing that was on my shelf to be funny, I liked the idea of finally playing it. There’s something weirdly fascinating about bad games, especially old ones. That’s why I recently picked up copies of Superman 64 and Blues Brothers 2000 as well. So let’s see what this game is all about.

If you couldn’t tell from the title, the whole gimmick of WCW Backstage Assault is that you aren’t fighting in the ring, but rather in various backstage areas. If you’ve ever watched wrestling, you know that sometimes matches do spill out to these places, especially no disqualification matches. Well, that’s not really what’s going on here. Instead, you’re really just doing basic wrestling matches, just not in the ring. It kind of feels like a mode in a more fleshed out wrestling game, but instead it’s the whole game.

By default, there aren’t too many options available. Just a few wrestlers and one arena, at least in the exhibition mode, which is what I played here. After looking it up later, apparently the other modes allow you to transition to different rooms during the match, but in exhibition, I was stuck to a truck area. My first match, I chose to play as Goldberg and went up against Doug Dillinger.

Much like the other wrestling games that I have played before, this game is one of the few that is controlled with a D pad on the N64. You can do various attacks with the C buttons and grabble your opponent with the B button. There’s also more complicated maneuvers that I didn’t quite figure out, like reversals, but I found that mostly just flaying about worked alright. There’s also weapons scattered about the ground, which you can pick up and smack your opponent with. After beating the stuffing out of Doug Dillinger for a while, I held down the L button, pinned him, and won the match.

I figured before I ended my time with the game, I should check out the create a wrestler mode. You start by selecting a wrestler to be your template. I went with Jeff Jarret and named him Shmeff. Then you get all sorts of options, from faces to clothes to tattoos. I just fiddled with a bunch of options until I made Shmeff pretty ugly. You then have options to adjust stats and choose moves. I didn’t go to deeply into this, because it’s not like I’m going to play too much more. After finishing, I had Shmeff fight Jeff Jarrett and won again.

Maybe I’d have a different opinion if I tried some of the other modes, but WCW Backstage Assault isn’t very good. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have fun with it though. It’s just kind of mindless fighting, and that’s okay once in a while. That blue cartridge is going back onto my shelf, and it’s probably going to be there for a while. I can’t recommend this one, but I don’t regret my time with it.